My name is Andy, I am 25 and live in Ohio. I love Mad Libs
The Fleecing- David Bazan + Passenger String Quartet
"Who shall I blame for this sweet and heavy trouble
For every stupid struggle
I don’t know
I could buy you a drink
I could tell you all about it
I could tell you why I doubt it
And why I don’t believe it
And why I grieved it (pretty hard)
How I was blind but now I see
We’d have more drinks
And speak of so many things
But I don’t know you and you don’t know me”
I really love the way Bazan rewrote this song, it says so much for the struggle that was evident in the original version of the song and then the resolution apparent in the edit. Being constantly surrounded by staunch and earnest Christians can be so mentally taxing sometimes because it’s often so much easier to play the part and be that person who I used to be, mostly because most aren’t even interested in even really talking about the whole belief structure and will just be so preoccupied with how I was hurt by Christians and how not all Christians are like that (I just noticed what I did there and I’m pleased with myself).
Leaving the faith is hard, it’s a long and drawn out process. I learned to have conversations that are secretly personal debates, mostly because you don’t get real answers out of people when they have their guards up. I’m not interested in leading others away from the faith who are perfectly happy with where they are because that just seems like a really selfish thing to do. It is however a culture that I am definitely happy to finally put behind me.